fashion

“I want people to be afraid of the women I dress.” — Alexander McQueen

As a byproduct the patriarchy, women have internalized the male gaze as much as the men have. This makes it hard for me to decipher if I like the way I look, or if a man would like the way I look. I have been comfortable presenting and looking feminine my whole life which adds a layer of doubt. Looking feminine has made me feel confident, womanly, privileged, guilty, and dependent on other’s approval. 

The only way I have been able to overcome this is to look to fashion. I don’t think I am good at de-centering the male gaze, but I am good at centering a creative vision. Regardless of the art form, I love to learn about why an artist or designer made something. Big fashion houses and famous designers have their creative stories well documented and it makes it easy to learn about. (Of course, the fashion industry is not free from the male gaze and can act as a culprit; we are all learning how to expand what we think is attractive outside of whiteness and the male gaze). I would consider myself a beginner in the fashion world, but a beginner who is in love.

Understanding what outfits I feel good in tells me about more myself than most other interests because fashion is a visual language. Keeping my clothing pieces focused on styling, references, and correct fit has improved my self confidence significantly without relying on the male gaze as the guidelines. 

I love fashion because it teaches me to center the creative’s vision.