“I Deserve Clean Hair” Oil on Panel, 6x8in, 2023

I painted this self portrait as a reminder to myself that I deserve clean hair.

Starting during the pandemic lockdown, I became obsessed with watching hair care/routine videos on TikTok and YouTube. Hair is something almost all of us have to deal with on a daily basis and that makes it relatable. I love watching everyone’s different techniques! My interest towards hair has stayed strong for years.

On my feed between 2022-2023, ‘hair training’ was a popular trend. Shampoo can be drying and the scalp over compensates by producing more oils. Hair training is the idea of cutting back on washing hair in attempt to naturally train your scalp to produce less oils. At this time, I happened to be training for a triathlon and doing intense cardio workouts five to six days a week — therefore, washing my hair five to six days a week. On rest days, I began to look forward to not washing my hair, and this is where my problem started.

Once I had finished my triathlon training, I tried hair training. Over the next few months, I developed a negative mentality towards washing my hair. I wouldn’t wash my hair everyday in attempt to ‘train’ it; I could only wash my hair if I worked out because I had to ‘earn’ a wash; and lastly, my mentality to ‘save’ my hair wash days for events began to overtake.

That could sound good in theory, but this mantra of ‘train-earn-save’ does not translate well to basic hygiene. There is not always a workout or an event happening everyday. My fine, straight hair would become so greasy, but I had slowly convinced myself to not wash it. If I did wash it, the guilt trip for wasting a wash which cause me foolish anxiety. One day after mentally debating myself if it was worth it to wash my dirty hair, I caught how absurd I was being. It was a sad moment. I didn’t need to do anything to deserve clean hair: I could just have freshly washed hair.

After that shower, I took a mirror seflie with my hair wrapped in a towel. Later, I painted it.

Self portraits are the most fun to paint because I do not feel the need to achieve likeness. I can play with style more. “I Deserve Clean Hair” is one of my most playful artworks. I also enjoyed creating a physical reminder to take care of myself. Looking back, I needed to create this painting to mend my relationship with caring for my hair. My fine, straight hair truly needs to be washed everyday or every other day and that is okay. I currently feel neutral about washing my hair, which I am proud of.